Adjusting to a new idea of ourselves
Try and think about situations in which you’ve been asked to introduce yourself to a new group of people: most likely you’ll mention your origins, where you live, your profession, your sentimental status and your family members. This is because all these variables become part of our personal identity, which means, they give us a sense of stability and continuity with our personal history, they tell us where we are in the world.
Some of these variables may change over time: we can move house, or change country, we can lose or change a job, we can end a relationship and unfortunately, we can also lose some family members. All these changes require us to create a new way for representing ourselves, so to integrate “the new me” in the personal history. But when too many things change at the same time, or the new situation affects a core aspect of our personality and maybe there was not much control on what happened, adjusting can be particularly tough and people might do not see themselves in the new circumstances, and they feel a fracture in their story.
If this happens, the idea of the future comes together with fear, anger, despair, resignation and a sense of being powerless and some people might live in stand-by mode from the present, stuck by a past that will never come back. This situation is clinically called “Adjustment Disorder” whose symptoms may look like anxiety and depression. Because adjustment disorder can be painful and long lasting, if you are feeling like this (maybe as a consequence of moving to Milan?), we advise you to seek for professional help as soon as possible, so that you can live your life fully again.